Miserable At Best
by rizzles-4-lyf
Summary: Based off the song Terrible Things by Mayday Parade. Just a quick little one shot! Rizzles (sort of) Maura telling Janes daughter the story of how she met, and lost the love of her life.


_Don't fall in love, there's too much to lose  
If you're given the choice than I am begging you  
Choose to walk away, don't let her get you  
I can't bare to see the same happen to you_

_**I am only telling you this because life can do terrible things**_

**Mauras POV  
**"Talk to me, Ava." I whispered as I lay in my king size bed, Janes daughters head in my lap. She was sobbing harder than I could ever recall seeing a person sob, and it bothered me. I lightly traced my fingertips along her spine the way that Jane had told me to if she was ever upset, and moments later her sobs turned into quiet whimpers. I let my eyes drift close as I smiled, thinking a thank you to my best friend.

"I just want him to love me." Her daughter told me, her head still buried between the blanket and my stomach, her warm tears coming into contact with the skin on my stomach gave me premature heart palpitations. I nodded and moved my hand from her spine to play with the curly black locks that spread out across her shoulder blades. I swallowed the lump that grew in my throat as images of my best friend filled my head.

"Listen to me." I said quietly, smiling affectionately as she turned her head so she was looking up at me. "When I was your age, I would have given _anything _to be in love." She giggled quietly but nodded, silently sitting up and crossing her legs. "But I kept living my life and stopped looking; and that's when I met your mother." I smiled at the memory of Jane standing before me in her hooker get up.

"I haven't heard that story." Her daughter told me, sighing quietly as she moved to sit beside me, lifting my arm so it was wrapped around her shoulder, her head finding it's home resting on my chest. I took a deep breath, inhaling the nineteen year old girls smell. Jane filled all my senses. "Tell me all of it." She asked quietly, turning the lamp off beside her so the only light that filled the room was coming from the lamp on my side of the bed.

"She was the most beautiful woman that I had ever seen." I told her truthfully, closing my eyes as I went back to the day I met Jane. "She was snippy with me at first, the stranger offering to pay for her coffee and telling her she should be eating leafy greens."

"That does sound like you." Ava laughed from beside me, and I couldn't fight the smile that came onto my face. I guess I had not changed at all.

"We both ended up at the Dirty Robber a few weeks later and after several stolen glances, she walked straight up to me and said _I can't help but notice you're staring at me._" I remembered the night as if it were yesterday. "We had far too much to drink and we…"

"If this is going to get dirty please spare me." Ava said, and I could feel her scrunching her nose up against my chest. I giggled as I nudged her, silently telling her to be quiet and let me tell my- Our story.

"No. We came back here and we spent the rest of the night lying on the grass in the back yard staring at the stars and sharing stories about ourselves. I had never opened up to anyone like that." I noted, biting down on my bottom lip as I realised I hadn't told anyone the things I told Jane that night.

"And that was it, you were in love from that night on?" Ava asked in a voice that was completely unbelieving.

"That was it. We never spent a day apart after that." I told her, nodding as I remembered seeing her at work the next day and being so nervous. But Jane, of course, walked straight up to me, hugged me and asked me out to lunch. She made everything normal, she made everything make sense.

"Okay, keep going." Ava said with a sigh, reaching down and taking one of my hands in her own. I had never been affectionate with anyone other than Jane, but with Ava all I wanted was to wrap my arms around her and never let her go.

"One night she came home and told me she had made me something." I sucked in a deep breath as I prepared for this part of my story. "She had made me a little paper box that was held shut with brown string, and when I opened it, that…" I pointed out as Ava rolled my engagement ring through her fingers. "Was inside. She said _you know that I love you, will you marry me?_ And without missing a beat, I said yes."

"That isn't very romantic." Ava whispered as I tried desperately to ignore my racing pulse and burning eyes. "I don't want hear about her and dad, skip to the next part of your story together."

"We haven't spoken about this part yet…" I warned her, her grip on my hand tightening. She knew we were about to discuss the death of her mother, my best friend and wife for the first time. We had spoken about it before, but in passing. Never sitting this close together, and she definitely didn't know the story of me finding out about her mother.

"I need to know." She whispered, snuggling even closer to me in preparation.

"I'm only telling you this because life can do terrible things, and I need you to understand that." My voice was already starting to falter.

"Tell me." She begged with a shaky voice. I closed my eyes and forced myself back two years.

"We fought because she had been acting really off all week. One night she came over and she said _I have to tell you a terrible thing_, _it seems that I'm sick, and I've only got weeks._ We were sitting on this bed, it was really late and I cried a lot." I sighed and pressed a light kiss to the mess of curls in front of my face.

"That is how she told you? That's terrible." Ava said with a sniffle, thought of her mother telling her she was sick clearly filling her young head.

"She held me and did that thing to my spine that she used to do to you. I was so mad that I didn't know she was sick before it was too late." I told her truthfully. I was yet to speak about any of this with anyone, so everything felt raw and fresh as I spoke. "The night she died, she held me tight against her chest and she said _please don't be sad, I really believe you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me_. Those were the last words I ever heard her speak."

"Oh god." Ava laughed as she began sobbing again, her laughter dying out quickly as I joined her, tears free falling from my eyes. "I miss her." She told me between sobs, and my heart felt as though it had been shattered into a million pieces.

"Don't fall in love. You're too young, there is too much to lose." She nodded at my words. I wanted to tell her that love was the best thing to ever happen to me, but the reminder that my love was gone and the reminder that I would never hold her or touch her again made the opposite words leave my mouth.


End file.
